Emotional expression as a vital life force
Many of us will have at one time or another said whilst crying ‘Sorry, I am not usually emotional’.
We have learned not to express our emotions, and this is often confused with learning how to regulate them. Regulation is important. But it is not the same thing as expression. Something essentially connecting us to being human gets lost when expression is suppressed.
When someone cries and says, ‘I’m not usually emotional,’ what I hear is a lifetime of conditioning. I want to gently reach out and say ‘Your emotions need expression. They are not meant to be held inside’
In my practice, my aim is to support people to reconnect with their emotions through the sensations in their bodies. This is what being alive feels like. Because, emotion moving through us, information being felt, energy finding its way out is key to feeling alive.
Over time, many of us have learned not to cry, not to laugh loudly, not to scream when we are sad or frustrated. Even not to yawn. These natural, instinctive expressions have been labelled inappropriate, excessive, even unsafe. So, we learn to contain them, to the detriment of our wellbeing.
My belief, and what I witness again and again, is that when emotion is not expressed through sound, movement, breath, or tears, it doesn’t disappear. It turns inward. Over time, it can show up as tension, numbness, fatigue, or pain in the body that has no clear medical explanation e.g. Eczema, Fibromyalgia, ME / CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), Psoriasis, chronic lower back pain, to name a few.
When we allow emotion to move through and out of us, through tears, trembling, sighing, vocalisation, or movement, our the nervous system is able to come in to balance. The body can soften.
I have often been reprimanded by my children for sighing loudly in public. Passers-by have even acknowledged my sighs. I just laugh and carry on, for sighing is one of the most natural regulating and expressing actions the body has.
This is not about being ‘emotional.’
It is what it means to be human, feel alive and letting go.
